I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
