oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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