omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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