Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
