I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
