look no pants
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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