She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
