I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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