He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
