my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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