This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You ruined the universe
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
