I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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