her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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