I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
