sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
