Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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