I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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