I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
