Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
