some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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