it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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