could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
