I just cut my nipple shaving
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
