Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
