You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
