Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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