Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
