going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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