I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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