I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
