So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
