that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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