its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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