Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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