Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
