So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
