I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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