If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
