Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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