She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
