batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
