Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
