Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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