It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
