R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am midnight drunk by noon
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
