hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
