I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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