my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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