just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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