i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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